I Am Nothing If Not Grateful

Things I am especially grateful for this week, in no particular order:

:: Easter Candy. There simply is no candy better than Easter candy. Period. The end. Cue music.

:: 80s Power Ballads. You know you want the whole guy-outside-the-window-boombox-over-the-head thing. Don't even lie.

:: Proper Punctuation and Grammar. You just never know what may come of it.

:: Spring Break. Because people leave and go somewhere else. Somewhere I'm not, making where I am a lot more pleasant.

:: Properly Groomed Eyebrows. It's a game-changer.

What are you grateful for this week?

Just a Few Observations, or, Stabby Tuesday

SPRING. It's "officially" here. What? Did it ever leave? The dogwoods and Bradford Pears (I don't know what they are, that's just what I hear them called) were blooming at the beginning of February. The pollen made it's first appearance somewhere around the middle of February. The temperature? It's been 80 since, well...last Spring. I'm not excited about Spring. Not even a little bit. Why? Because that's all we've been experiencing for the past 4 months and it's miserable. This summer is going to be more than I even want to think about. 2011-2012: The Year Winter Didn't Happen.

SEPHORA. They'll send an email...or twenty. And every single one of them says something along the lines of "Just for you!" or "Look! You Won't Want to Miss This!" or "Hurry!" And it's always just a regular email for regular product and regular price. Not cool, Sephora. I spend more money in your store than I care to admit to myself or others. I'm beginning to feel like this relationship is completely one-sided.

LINEN, SEERSUCKER, WHITE, OPEN TOES, BARE LEGS. No, no, no, no, and no. Easter. Every good Southern girl and boy should know this. If you don't observe Easter, use your best judgment, but February isn't it. I don't care if it is "such a nice day," it's not time. Put it away. Didn't your Mama and your Memaw teach you The Rules? Believe me, I'm struggling with bare legs and open toes. But I just can't.

STICK FAMILIES. This is out of control. No one cares about your stick family with 3 dogs and 17 cats. And we certainly don't care if you all have Disney ears on. Stop it.

TWITTER. Hoo boy. You better brace yourself on this one, because thoughts? I've many. You're welcome.
  :: Long/Short/Curly/Brown/Whatever Hair, Don't Care:: What? What does that even *mean*? What does that have to do with anything? It sounds ridiculous.
  ::Sorry I'm Not Sorry:: Yes, I know. I get it. You're sorry you're not sorry. Which makes you sorry. And also makes you sound absolutely absurd. Seriously. No one wants to be friends with a brat, and that's what you sound like. Sorry I'm not sorry.
  ::Keep Calm and...:: Carry on. Eat a cupcake. Throw some glitter. Twirl. Stay Southern. Wear Your Pearls. You know what makes me even more furious when I'm already irritated? Someone telling me to calm down. It's time to stop posting 723 different versions of this. We get it. And what does staying southern have to do with anything? My Memaw was as Southern as they come, and had you met her, you would know that "staying southern" has absolutely nothing to do with staying calm. Most Southern women I know can get spitting mad. But, what do I know, since obviously I'm not staying calm.
  ::Anonymous Twitter Accounts / "Pic Slips":: I don't follow you because I think you're dumb. However, I seem to follow the occasional person who thinks you are cute and retweets you when you are begging for followers so you can do a "pic slip" and show us all who you are. First, what makes you think you are so important and precious that we even care who you are? Second, if what you have to say is so great, why can't you just be who you are and say it? I'm guessing you're probably not even a little bit of what you claim to be. Which makes anything you say pointless.
  ::Belle / Gent Tips:: Seriously? I mean, how did I ever make it this far in life without being given advice by a 20 year old on how I should act and be treated? I know you think this is cute and that you're doing us all this huge favor by helping us know who we should be, but you're wrong. And I won't even talk about how 85% of everything you say is a complete load of garbage. If you're such a gent and treat women so well, why are you spending all of your time on Twitter telling us about it? Shouldn't the Belles be climbing over one another for your attention? I'm willing to bet 90% of you wouldn't know what a real Southern lady is like if she was standing right in front of you.

  ::'Merica:: You talk about how much you love America and how proud and patriotic you are. So why are you disrespecting her by referring to her in this way? And how ironic that those of you who do this are the very same ones providing us with those extremely valuable lessons on how to be a Southern Belle / Gent. It’s America. A.M.E.R.I.C.A. Get it right.

That's enough for today, folks. But only because I need to go readjust my pearls, spray some more hairspray on my big Southern hair, and find a Gent to worship at the altar of my Southern Belleness. 

The Green Things

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, and while I don't get behind all of the crazy shenanigans that go down (and why would I? I'm not Irish), I can appreciate a fabulous shade of green.

In no particular order, a list of some of my favorite green things.

       

1. Vince Camuto Green Cuff

2. J. Crew Chino Short

3. Milly Cardigan

4. Terry Romper Cover-Up

5. J. Crew Patent Leather Skinny Belt

The One In Which I Flip My Ish

Everyone is talking about Jessica Simpson on the cover of Elle. And my blood is boiling. 

 

 

A few Twitter girls in particular have made comments that are downright appalling.  

She's huge.

She's unhealthy.

Her boobs are the size of a head.

She's setting a bad example of pregnancy.

She's fat.

She's a cow.

She's disgusting.

I feel sorry for her.

I feel sorry for her boyfriend.

Is she having triplets??

Ew. Why did she do this?

Gross.

WHAT. IS. YOUR. PROBLEM?!

She is nine months pregnant and she is GORGEOUS.

 

Every woman is different. Every pregnancy is different. And who, exactly, do you think you are to be judging her pregnancy and what she may or may not be going through??

She's happy. She says she's never been more comfortable in her own skin. And it shows. She is beautiful.

Why do women feel the need to be catty and cut other women down for no reason at all? 

Those of you who have said these things...and you know who you are...I'm just going to assume that you are perfect and everything about you is ALWAYS spot on.  

Because otherwise, you would surely know how it feels to be judged and have horrible things said about you and you would never do that to another woman, right?

Jessica Simpson is a real woman. She has curves. She has boobs. She deals with fluctuating weight. And it's all in the spotlight. How would YOU feel if you were constantly in the spotlight...and at 9 months pregnant, no less?

Jessica Simpson is real. And she is beautiful. Maybe more so than I've ever seen her before. Those of you who have nothing but negative things to say...my heart goes out to you because your ugliness is something that can't be fixed.

Rock on, Jess. You've never looked more gorgeous.

March Goals

Stick to a Budget - I believe in retail therapy. Not just a little bit, and not saying it in a joking way, but going way, way back, the way I learned to deal with things - good, bad, devastating, whatever - is by shopping (thank you, Mother). With the past two years of my life being such a roller coaster, I have been spending ridiculous amounts of money on things I don't really need. This was especially a pain in the rear when it came time to move all of that stuff last week. It's time to get a budget, and actually stick to it. I'm not really anticipating this is going to go very well, but we'll see.

Bright Someone's Day - I was in line at the Sonic drive-through the other day (I will choose drive-through over drive-in 100% of the time there), and when I pulled up to the window, the woman handed me my drink and said the guy in front of me paid for my order and said to have a nice day. It was something small, but it totally made my day. Not many people take the time to do something nice for strangers, and I'm making it a point to change that in my life.

Blog Reading / Commenting - I kind of stink at this. I'll do really good for two or three days, and then I'll go a week without doing it. I don't comment on nearly as many posts as I'd like to because I get so far behind. I'm actually blocking out time during my week to do this at least 4 times a week. It's hard to stalk the people I want to stalk when I don't check up on them daily.

Water - I suck at drinking water. I mean, i drink it, but I just don't know how I'm supposed to drink the recommended 100 oz per day. I can drink nothing but water all day, and I still can't seem to do it. It's like I have to force myself to drink that much. And I feel miserable. But, I want those benefits, and I figure if I can force myself to do it every day this month, I'll be good to go with it daily in the future, right? **For those of you who can actually do this, please do share how you make it happen without feeling miserable**

Chik-Fil-A: Just Say No - My walk of shame is carrying the Chik-Fil-A bags / cups from my car to the trash can. Seriously. It's a problem. First of all, I love a good fountain drink in a styrofoam cup. And they have it. Also, their chicken minis are crazy addictive. And have you tried their grilled chicken nuggets? I die. I have to stop this. It's not going to be easy, and I imagine there will be more than once I'm going to hate myself for this, but I *will* succeed.

Organize Blog - I don't know how it happened, but some stuff disappeared from my information and side bar a couple of weeks ago. It's time to reclaim my blog and get it back to 100%. Blog neglect is a serious thing, and I no longer want to be a part of it.

The J - I am not even going to attempt to pretend like February was anything but crappy when it comes to working out. I only went a handful of times, and I can tell. I feel like crap. So it's time to re-focus and get back to the gym on a regular basis. 12



What are your goals this month?

Goal Update: February

Signature Red / Pink Lip - This is, by far, one of the greatest accomplishments to date. You may think that's an exaggeration, but it's not. The perfect statement red lip can change your entire attitude. And what girl doesn't need an amazing dramatic pink? I managed to find both at the MAC counter. The red is Retro Matte in Ruby Woo and the pink is Amplified Creme in Girl About Town. I meant to take pictures of me wearing both, but since I forgot to do that, these will have to suffice.

 


Become a Morning Person / No Snooze - I'm not quite there yet, but I have to say it has gotten a little better. I've at least stopped growling at anyone who speaks to me before 8am. Any progress is good progress, right?

Keep up with Blog Emails - I did well with this until The Move. All of my emails have been neglected since then. My inbox is in a sad, sad state of affair.

Keep in Touch - Eh. I blame this one on The Move, too. It's easier than admitting that I've just slacked on it.

Have Car Detailed - Done. And my life is running much more smoothly because of it.

Blog - See: The Move.

Bargain Carousel Donations - Nope. You're probably thinking it's because of The Move. You're right. I'm going to have to bust serious tail to get this done next month.

Move - Ugh. This has consumed my life lately. The good news: I'm moved. The bad news: Now I have to get everything put away in the new place. Which then gives way to more good news: Decorating.

How did you do on your goals this month?

This Week I Discovered...

...That I am far too old to be sleeping on an air mattress. If for any reason I forget this, I will be reminded the next day when I cannot move.

...Parmesan Garlic Pretzel Thins. Delightful.

...That Tuesdays are $2 taco nights at my fav Five Points Tex-Mex locale. Chicken Club Tacos, Shrimp Tacos with Red-Chili Aioli, Tilapia Tacos...for $2? Yes, please.

...When my nails are not painted, I feel naked.

...No matter how exhausted I am, I will always find it in me to wake up early for The Original Pancake House.