Wednesday, August 29, 2012

How Old Do You Feel *Now*?

Every year Beloit College releases a Mindset List. The list was originally intended to distribute to faculty to prepare them for the incoming class of freshman, but has since become a way to make us all feel ancient.

The 2012 entering class of freshman will graduate in 2016. In 2016, I will be 35 ... older. Do you know what year they were born? 1994. NINETEEN. NINETY. FOUR. (Fun fact not on the list for those of you who graduated in 2000 and think you really aren't feeling that old yet: The kids graduating high school this year? They were starting kindergarten when you were graduating. You're welcome.)

Want to feel old (or, in my case, really old)? Here are just a few of the highlights from this year's list. (You can see the full list here)

:: Jackie O, Richard Nixon, Kurt Cobain, and John Wayne Gacy have always been dead.

:: They have always had the Internet.

:: Michael Jackson's family - not the Kennedys - constitutes "American Royalty." {I CANNOT}

:: Robert Dinero is not Vito Corleone or Jimmy Conway...he's Greg Focker's father-in-law.

:: They have little to no knowledge of Bill Clinton's presidency.

:: They have never seen an airplane "ticket"

:: They've never seen people actually carry luggage through the airport rather than rolling it. {I do NOT miss those days}

:: There has always been football in Jacksonville, but never in Los Angeles

:: Encyclopedia salesmen knocking on the door to sell the parents a brand new set of bound encyclopedias? Nope.

:: Exposed bra straps have always been a fashion statement, not a wardrobe malfuntion to be corrected quietly by well-meaning friends {And this, my friends, is a large part of what is wrong with America today.}

:: They have always lived in an era of instant stardom and self-proclaimed celebrities, famous for being famous {Part II of what is wrong with America today}

:: There have always been blue M+Ms, but never tan ones

:: There has always been a World Trade Organization.

:: Mr. Burns (Simpsons, I think? I don't watch it) has replaced J.R. Ewing as the most shot-at man on American television {I vividly remember watching Dallas every week and cannot even tell you how excited I am that it's back}

Feeling old yet?

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  1. Out of everything on this list, the blue m&ms definitely struck me the most -- I remember so vividly how everyone used to rush to the PAY PHONE at middle school to call and vote for their favorite colors.

    Yep, now I feel about 200 years old.

    (Relatedly, I've always missed the tan m&ms.)

  2. Those list are always scary to me now that I am old. There is something wrong with their parents that they think anyone but the Kennedy's are the closest thing to a royal family America has and it is okay to show underwear (don't get me started on that)

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