Thursday, April 5, 2012

Remember That Time I was Single White Female'd?

Yesterday was the day I confirmed what I had been suspecting for months now.

I have a Twitter creeper. Wait. Creeper doesn't do it justice. This girl is full-on Hedy (a la Single White Female).

The Story:
About six months ago, I received 217 (that is NOT an exaggeration) notifications telling me someone had starred my tweets. TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN. Who does that?! She spent hours going back through months and months of tweets and marking every single thing I said as a favorite. First, who has that kind of time? Second, why would anyone want to go through all of that effort? I looked at her profile and, while she was private, I didn't see anything that threw up a red flag. Crazy, but I let it go.

All was quiet for about three months, when she returned. She went back to where she left off and starred every single thing I had said since then. Still weird. I started feeling a little more strange, but still, I let it go. I gave her the benefit of the doubt: Maybe she just doesn't know how Twitter works.

About a week ago, she came back again and did the exact same thing. This girl has now marked many, many hundreds of my tweets as favorites. It was time to get to the bottom of this. I decided to follow her and so I could see her favorites and see if she was doing this to everyone or just me. I mean, she follows me, and she is obviously interested in what I have to say, so why not follow her back. Logical, right?

Within 5 minutes of requesting to follow her, she unfollowed me. RED FLAG. Now I'm really suspicious. 

So, in a moment of genius, I think: Why not have a friend request to follow her? Then I can get in there and figure out what the hell is going on. Success.

I went through her tweets for the month of March. I couldn't stomach any more than that. She is basically taking my tweets, changing a few words here and there, and throwing them out there as her own. CREEPER. 

I know what I say is out there for the world to see. Fine. But it is NOT ok to steal someone's thoughts and pass them off as your own, not once, not twice, but HUNDREDS of times. 

I feel violated. And weird. 

The Evidence (at least until I couldn't take anymore and had to stop):

If you tell me that you don't see the point of cupcakes, I pretty much think you're a terrorist.
And then my response to someone about this topic:
Right? Cupcakes are nothing but little pillows of joy. To hate them is to surely hate happiness.

Yeah, I pretty much think you're a terrorist if you see no point to cupcakes. #tinylittlepillowsofjoy.

·    I really wish you'd send *another* email asking the exact same thing you've already asked about three times today. #worktweets

No, I really want you to send another 4 emails asking me the exact same thing you've already asked about in the other 12 emails. Really.

·    I am not a fan of DST. Please tell me who needs more daylight to bring in the crops now days. WHO?? #springforwarddontfallback

      Please make me understand who needs the extra daylight hour to bring in the crops nowadays?! #sleeplessness.

·    It took some *serious* creativity to get the couch in + out of the elevator but it's done #whoneedsboys #exhausted#tooprettyformanuallabor

·    The mad creativity it took to get this sofa bed in and out of the elevator definitely deserves a chilled Heineken. #celebratorydutch.

·   I love that IKEA can provide me with cheap storage solutions (and $1 froyo), but putting their stuff together makes me downright homicidal.

I love IKEA for providing excellent storage solutions, but putting together their stuff can turn a person downright homicidal.

No, you did *not* tell me that. You may have thought it, but I can *assure* you it was not verbalized. #noteven7am #worktweets#germans

·    No, you did not tell me that. You may have thought you did, but I can assure you, it was not verbalized. #assumptionissues.

If you can't drive a straight shift, the time to attempt is not at a huge intersection downtown during the middle of morning traffic.

·    The place to attempt to drive stick shift is not during morning traffic at a major intersection downtown. #manicdrivers.

·   Going to bed before 10pm for 7 glorious hours of uninterrupted sleep...the first time in weeks. #heaven

·    Plan for tonight: Go directly abed when I get home to grab at least eight glorious hours of uninterrupted sleep. God, I'm such a daredevil.

·    My favorite pen has disappeared, which basically means there's no point left to this day.

·    Misplaced my favorite pen which basically means there's no point left to this day. #officesupplysnob.

·    The amount of work I need to do today does not coincide with my desire to leave the office by 3. Why is my life so hard?

·   The amount of work needed to be done by the day's end doesn't coincide w/ me wanting to leave the office early today. #cestmavie.

And perhaps the best one of all:
I didn't go back far enough in my timeline to get my exact original, because unlike her, I don't have that kind of time. But back during Georgia's bowl game, I said something along the lines of needing a drink or seven to make it through the game, with the hashtag #getyourcraptogetherdawgs. Totally football related, right? 

Well, this was Miss Vancouver's (where her profile says she lives) take on it during the month of March:
'I need a drink - or seven' seems to be the only rational thought I've said aloud all day. #getyourcraptogetherdawgs.

After a little more recon work, I figured out that she reads my blog. It's probably just a matter of time before it shows up somewhere passed off as her own, too. 

So, Jade Sandhu, I hope you're enjoying the post. I hate that your life is so sad that you feel the need to steal someone else's thoughts and pass them off as your own, but if you're going to do so with mine, please, for the love of all that's holy, just copy them verbatim. Your pathetic attempt at changing a word here and there does not do them justice. And if you're going to use my hashtags, make sure you know what the hell you're talking about.

C'est ma vie, stalker. Stop trying to pass it off as your own.


  1. Good for you C! Call her out!

  2. Eew. This is beyond creepy. You've blocked her right?

    I had a twitter stalker last year. She didn't copy my tweets nor follow me, but had subscribed to my twitter feed. She'd then go around to many of the people I'd tweet and start twitter convos with them about what I'd said & how much she hated me. I haven't a clue who this freak is. It was bizzare & so incredibly sad. I called her out on it & blocked her. The end.

  3. I feel like I need to review the list of people who follow me now.

  4. Oh. my. gosh. So creepy!! I hope this never happens to me I'd be freaked--- good work calling her out!!